


Home Insecurities

by willowezra



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-26
Updated: 2014-08-26
Packaged: 2018-02-14 20:28:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2201997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/willowezra/pseuds/willowezra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters. Just playing with them.</p><p>Special thanks to my beta reader Maureen. She suffered through many drafts.</p><p>Enough of that now on with the story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Home Insecurities

Sam and Janet were in the kitchen cleaning up the remnants of dinner, Cassie was in her room listening to music and doing her homework when a loud crash was heard. With her music on Cassie failed to hear the sound of shattering glass but the noise didn't slip past Sam or Janet. They both simultaneously stopped cleaning and ran into the living room in fear that something happened to Cassie. What they saw stopped them both in their tracks. 

The burglar, surprised that the owners were home, did only one thing - he raised his pistol, aiming directly at Janet. Noticing where the gun was pointed Sam took a few steps to her right placing herself between the burglar and the woman she loved.

Raising her hands, Sam calmly spoke, " Please, just take the wallet on the table and leave." She pointed in the direction of the entry hall table where her wallet lay. "If you just leave we won’t call the police."

The burglar was already nervous and tense, his hand holding the gun slightly shaking while his finger lightly squeezed and released the trigger in a firing gesture. Janet, unsure of what was happening, started to inch her way from behind Sam so she could have a view of all the involved parties. This movement caught the attention of the burglar and in a brief moment of panic he kept pressing the trigger. Not releasing it until it was too late, a large shot rang out through the house. The bang from the gun caused Janet to remain where she was standing, shooting glances over to Sam and then back at the gun. The burglar, in total shock of what he had just done, dropped the gun as if it was searing the flesh of his hand and ran from the house.

Meanwhile on the other side of town a Honda was pulling into the intersection when another vehicle decided to run the red light. The force of the impact was immense. The occupants of the Honda were hit from the passenger’s side, shoving the car sideways through the intersection. As the ambulance showed up, the Jaws of Life was used to remove the passenger. Both passengers were then rushed to the emergency room. But the after effects of the accident would cause traffic problems for some time still, while clean up crews and tow-trucks arrived to clean the mess and remove the damaged vehicles.

As the burglar fled, Cassie bolted down the stairs to see what had happened. It was then that Sam allowed herself to collapse knowing that there was no immediate threat to her family. She slowly sank to her knees, and then simply fell forward. This action brought Janet out of her paralysis and to Sam's side. She leant over Sam's back sliding her hand under Sam to roll her over. She stopped when she felt something wet and warm on her hand. Carefully she pulled her hand out from under Sam examining the blood that now coated her palm and fingers - blood, Sam's blood. It was at this time that Cassie took a few steps closer to her mothers and Janet noticed her presence.

"Cass, honey, I need you to go into my bathroom and get my medical bag. Also there should be some clean cloths in the linen closet," Janet said, trying to keep the panic out of her voice.

By the time Cassie had returned, Janet had turned Sam onto her back and was applying pressure to the wound while assessing the damage.

Taking the rags from Cass, Janet instructed, "Honey get my cell and call 911. Tell them there was a break in and a woman has been shot."

Cassie grabbed the cell then headed for the kitchen and the house phone. On one she called 911 on the other she called Daniel. Now only speaking to 911 Cassie headed back to her mom and Sam.

"Mom, the ambulance is on its way. Is there anything I could do to help?" Cassie asked as she put the cell in her pocket.

Janet had instructed her to keep pressure on the wound while she kept Sam conscious. The loss of blood was starting to worry Janet and Sam was becoming more and more pale with each passing moment.

"Sam honey, Can you hear me? I need you to stay with me ok? You need to stay awake," Janet said as she brushed a few stray strands of hair from Sam's forehead. As the minutes ticked by Janet began to panic more and more.

"Where the hell is the damn ambulance?" Janet yelled angrily.

Sam was beginning to worry her - perspiration had started to form under her blonde bangs and she was looking ghostly pale. Things were not looking good and if the ambulance didn't arrive soon she was going to loose Sam.

It felt like an eternity had passed before the ambulance had arrived. Now the paramedics were taking care of Sam. After assessing the situation they inserted an IV drip and placed her on a gurney. Once she was strapped to it, they headed back out the front door to the ambulance. Both Janet and Cassie wordlessly followed and watched as Sam was lifted into the back of the vehicle.

The paramedic turned and spoke, "I'm sorry but only one of you will be able to accompany us."

Janet just stood there, blinking, unsure of what to do and still not able to understand why this happened.

"Mom, go - Sam needs you. I'll be ok; Uncle Daniel is on his way. I'll meet you at the hospital," Cassie said, her voice laced with concern and worry.

Janet did the only thing she could think of. She nodded and hugged her daughter tightly before climbing into the back of the ambulance. Just as the vehicle pulled away, Daniel drove up and Cassie jumped in.

The ride to the hospital was anything but quiet for Janet. Due to the earlier accident the route to the hospital was still jammed. Sam scarred everyone when she went into shock, and for a second there they almost lost her, which caused the medics to take action. Flipping on the sirens they headed the wrong direction on the one-way street, right into on coming traffic. Doing this they were able to by pass the traffic jam and make some progress on getting Sam to the hospital before another scare. Once Sam's vitals were more stable, one of the medics began to ask Janet the usual information and, being Sam's normal physician, Janet knew all the information they would need.

As Daniel drove, Cassie filled him in on what happened, even though she didn't know much. When she finished she just sat there with her hands on her lap staring out the window. Daniel was worried, not only for Sam but for Janet and Cassie too. They would be devastated if they were to ever lose her. So for now he provided the only comfort he could for his niece and reached over to squeeze her hand, holding it in his.

When they arrived at the hospital the paramedics rushed Sam into the emergency room with Janet close behind. As the nurses took over and pushed Sam through a set of glass doors, one of them stopped Janet from following but Janet wasn’t the only one stopped.

"I'm sorry but neither of you can go in there. You'll have to remain here," the young nurse said, before turning and heading in the direction the others went.

With the nurse that denied her entrance into the Emergency Care ward having walked away, Janet turned and marched to the nurse’s station not wanting to stand by and let others take care of the life that means the world to her. She didn’t want to be like the gentleman that came in shortly after her and be forced to cling to any small shred of hope. She wanted to have her hands in the action to be there every step of the way. 

“Excuse me nurse, I just accompanied a young woman with a gun shot wound and need to be in there with her,” Janet said as she pointed into the ward.

“I’m sorry Ma’am,” the nurse said politely. “No unauthorized personnel is allowed beyond that point until the patient is stabilized and moved into a room.”

“I am qualified to be in there. I am a doctor with United States Air Force and I am her physician,” Janet stated frustration evident in her voice.

“That may be Ma’am but you don’t have authority to practice at this hospital and therefore do not have authority to be in there. I’m sorry but you are just going to have to wait like everyone else.”

“Damn it! You don’t understand, that woman has a very unique physique that I am capable of handling that is way out of the league of any doctor you have here,” Janet said her anger clearly evident now.

“Ma’am I’m sorry but I still can’t allow you access. I will pass on this information to the doctor on duty to do as they see fit. That’s all I can offer,” the nurse said allowing sympathy to enter her voice. “If you don’t take a seat and wait I will be forced to ask security to remove you from the premises.”

Janet with nothing else she could do relented and took a seat, waiting till the doctor came with word on Sam’s condition.

Daniel had just enough time to pull into a parking place before Cassie jumped out of the car running to the emergency room entrance. She found Janet sitting in a corner, her face buried in her hands. She slowly walked to stand in front of her mother and when her presence was still not acknowledged she knelt, hugging her mother tightly. With this one act of kindness from her daughter, all of Janet’s walls crumbled and she fell apart, allowing the tears to finally be shed. Daniel gave them a few minutes alone and allowed Janet to somewhat compose herself. He took the chair to the left of Janet laying a gentle hand on her back. All Janet could do was give him a slight smile and a big hug.

"Thank you," she barely whispered near his ear.

" You’re welcome. I'm here for you, we all are, any time you need a friend," he said softy. "Besides, Sam's a fighter and she wont let this stop her from being with you."

Time seemed to pass by very slowly; they had already been there for 2 hours and still no word as to how Sam was doing. The waiting was beginning to frustrate everyone. Daniel decided to call the mountain and give Hammond and Jack the heads up. Hammond asked Daniel to pass on his concerns while Jack gave word that Teal’c and him were on their way. Cassie on the other hand decided that a trip to the vending machine was necessary. She returned with a cup of coffee for each of the adults and soda as well as candy for herself. 

Jack and Teal’c arrived at the emergency room to find Cass sitting on Daniel’s lap being held close, while Janet paced to and fro. The gentle footsteps stopped Janet’s pacing in front of where Cass and Daniel sat. Teal’c merely bowed his head slightly offering his support while Jack wrapped Janet in a big hug letting her know he was there for her and that she was loved.

It had only been about 20 minutes after Jack and Teal’c had arrived when 2 doctors walked into the waiting room from the surgical rooms. The first walked up to a man waiting patiently for news on his loved one while the other made his way towards Janet and her extended family.

“Sir, I’m Doctor Richardson. I’d like to talk to you about Sam and find out more of what happened leading up to the accident,” Richardson said as he took a seat next to the man. The man simply nodded his acknowledgment and allowed the doctor to continue.

“First off let me start by calming your nerves. Though some problems arose while in the emergency room, Sam is stable and should make a complete recovery.”

As Richardson and the man kept talking the other doctor stood before Janet with a solemn expression on his face.

Looking up and seeing the doctors expression Janet let out a gasped, “No!”

“I’m sorry, the damage was too severe and there was an incredible amount of blood loss. There was nothing we could do for Sam,” the doctor said sincerely.

“Oh god no, god no! This can’t be happening, Sam can’t be dead,” Janet sobbed leaning forward in her chair, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“I’m sorry for your loss. When you’re ready the nurse has some papers for you to fill out,” the doctor said before turning and making his way back through the glass doors but before he reached his destination, Janet’s voice stopped him.

“Can I see Sam?” was the feeble sound that escaped Janet’s lips.

“I’m sorry they are holding her while burial arrangements are made. There is no reason for you to see him. The patient has already been identified when you brought him in,” the Doctor said matter of fact. “You don’t need to put yourself through the hardship of seeing the body.”

“No, I don’t think you understand. I need to see Sam, need to see it for myself and I will. There is no more discussion about this, take me to her now,” Janet said while all parties involved missed the fact the Doctor called Sam a man.

“Alright then,” the Doctor sighed, “I’ll have Nurse Daniels escort you to the morgue.”

“Thank you.”

By now Jack had moved to sit to the right of Janet while Daniel still sat to her left. Cassandra now sat on her mother’s lap embraced in a tight hug both crying a river. Of the five people that were there for Sam Carter not a one had dry eyes, even Teal’c had a tear or two roll down his cheek. Now all she could do was wait till the nurse came to escort her to the morgue where she could say goodbye to her love for the last time.

“I think we’ve talked enough. Why don’t I take you to see Sam, you’ve been asked for,” Dr. Richardson said as he led the man to Sam’s room.

They both entered the white room to find Sam lying propped up on the bed her eyes closed as if in a state of sleep. The man stopped suddenly when he realized the site before his eyes.

The walk to the morgue was quiet. Neither Janet nor the nurse spoke both not sure what to say. When they reached the doors the nurse opened them allowing Janet to pass and approach the examining table. Upon the center table lie a figure covered in a white sheet. Before Janet could remove the sheet the nurse asked if Janet wanted to be alone or if she needed the sheet moved for her. Janet having the strong character that she does and wanting to have a few last moments with her lover she opted to be alone. The nurse however did not leave the room, just stood back and let Janet say her peace.

Slowly with her hand shaking slightly Janet reached for the sheet above the head to pull it down to the collarbone. When she finished and looked back up at the face she let out a sharp gasp and staggered back for this was not who she was here to look upon.

“What’s wrong?” The nurse asked slightly panicked.

“This is not Sam, not my Sam,” Janet finally said.

“This is the Samuel Cartier that died,” the nurse stated.

“Excuse me. Did you just say Samuel?” Janet asked her brain finally catching up to reality.

“Yes I did. Is this not your husband?”

“No its not I brought in Samantha Carter. Since this is not her where is she?”

“Let me lead you back to the waiting room while I contact the doctors, there has been a terrible mistake.”

“Of course there has been a terrible mistake. Samantha Carter seems to be missing!” Janet said hotly.

As Nurse Daniels led Janet back to the waiting room, Janet could be heard muttering obscenities as well as other choice words under her breath.

Standing completely in surprise the man turns to Dr. Richardson. “This isn’t Sam. The Sam I was in the accident with was a man. This is not my Sam. Where is my Sam?” The man asked his voice rising more and more causing the occupant of the room to open her eyes.

“I’m sorry for the mix up. The nurse must have mistook her to be your wife,” Dr. Richardson paused then continued. “I’m afraid to say this but Sam, the man you must have brought in, didn’t make it. There were complications and we lost him during surgery.” 

The man didn’t say a word, only collapsed on the floor in the very spot he was standing moments before. The doctor went to the phone and called a nurse to help take the man to a quiet room to recover from the shock. As he hung up the phone he was about to return to the man’s side when a hand grabbed his arm stopping him. Sam had lied there patiently watching what was happening but she would watch no more, now she wanted something and she wanted it now.

“Janet,” the voice rasped. “Where’s Janet?”

The doctor patted the hand holding tightly to his white lab coat reassuring the patient that he heard her. “Whom are you asking for?”

“Janet. Janet Fraiser, the woman who brought me in,” she said quietly releasing the doctors arm.

“I’ll go find her, just get some sleep and she’ll be here before you know it,” Richardson reassured her.

Sitting in the waiting room unable to move Cassandra sat on Daniel’s lap crying into his shoulder. Janet paced back and forth before the row of chairs her extended family occupied. It was Jack who stopped Janet’s pacing and managed to get her to sit with the luck that she will somewhat calm down. But this wasn’t the case; all Janet could do was sit with her face buried in her hands being enveloped in a hug from a kneeling Jack. The emotional strain she was under had finally taken its toll; again she could contain it no longer. She didn’t know what was going on, first Sam is dead now Sam is missing. All Janet wanted was for Sam to be alive and in her arms.

Kneeling next to the nurse Richardson checked the man’s pulse, “Can you take him to an unused room to wake then go to the waiting room and take Ms. Janet Fraiser to my office. I need to speak with her.”

“Yes doctor, right away,” the nurse said as Richardson was paged to Emergency room 3.

While Richardson was in room 3 trying to stabilize a patient that had gone into cardiac arrest. The nurse took the shocked man with the help of an orderly to room six where he can recuperate, then headed to the waiting room in search of Janet Fraiser.

“Janet Fraiser?” She asked upon stepping through the glass doors.

Nodding Janet answered with a saddened, “Yes, that would be me.”

“Would you please follow me Doctor Richardson would like to speak with you.”

“OK. One moment please,” Janet said as her and Cass stood. “I want you to stay with the guys. If you need anything ask them but if it’s an emergency have them ask the nurse at the reception desk to page me. OK honey?”

Cass could only nod as she wiped her nose with her sleeve. Then sat back down as she watched her mother follow the nurse through the doors.

As Janet followed the nurse wordlessly the nurse added, “You can wait in his office. He will be with you shortly.” Opening a door for her to step through.

The door closed behind her once she cleared the opening. She made her way to the chairs with the intention of waiting but her unease with the situation was causing Janet to become extremely agitated and restless. So once more she stood and continued her pacing in the tiny confines of the office.

So deep in thought Janet didn’t notice that someone had entered the office until a hand rested on her shoulder in a comforting gesture.

“Janet Fraiser I presume,” Richardson asked and upon receiving a nod continued, “I’m Doctor Richardson. I’d like to ask a few questions in regards to Sam Carter and explain a few things if I may.”

Once again Janet nodded and Richardson continued.

“Now I know you brought someone in by the name of Sam Carter. And by the reaction you had to the body in the morgue I am assuming that the patient you brought in was Samantha Carter. Is this correct?

“Yes. Have you found where Samantha is?” Janet asked with a confused expression on her face. “I want to be taken to her?”

“I will get to that right now.”

Janet angrily interrupted him, “No. You will take me to Sam NOW! You can explain on the way.” And with that the doctor relented and continued the conversation on the walk to Sam’s room.

“It seems we received 2 Sam Carter’s in Emergency, one being your Sam or Samantha the other Sam being Samuel. The spelling of the last name differed a bit but they were close enough to having the same name,” Dr. Richardson took a moment to breath allowing what he had said so far to be processed by Janet.

“I don’t care about that I just want to know how Samantha is doing?”

“I must apologize for the mix-up our new nurse made. He mistook Samuel to be your husband and in doing so the information you were told about Sam, is about the wrong Sam.”

“This is all nice and everything but I really don’t give a damn. There is only one thing that concerns me and that’s my Sam,” Janet stated.

“Well then since there is nothing further to say about the situation let me warn you. She will be sore for a while and in a lot of pain. I have prescribed pain medication but time is needed for her to heal completely,” Richardson said allowing concern for his patient to enter his voice.

“I understand. I’m a doctor also, I know all about bullet wounds,” Janet said.

With that Richardson allowed Janet to enter Sam’s room leaving to allow the two women some privacy.

Janet took in a sharp in-hail of breath at the site before her. Sam lie in a hospital bed slightly propped up, her skin a pale white making her look fragile. Something Janet never got used to seeing. She stood beside the bed and ever so gently cradled Sam’s delicate hand in her own.

“Sam,” she whispered softly afraid this would all turn out to be a dream, that she would wake and Sam would be gone.

“Janet,” Sam whispered back, her eyes fluttering open.

“I’m here baby, I’m here,” Janet responded tears beginning to pool in her deep brown eyes. “Everything is going to be all right.”

Sam noticing the tears pooling in Janet’s eyes caused tears in her own. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

Janet continued her babbling not hearing what Sam had said. “I was so afraid. I thought I was going to lose you when you collapsed and then,” Janet stopped unable to continue. “Then when you were in the Emergency Room a Doctor told me that you didn’t make it. That you had died in there. And all I could think about was ‘how am I going to go on living.’ After all you are my life the other half of my soul,” Janet managed to say before being overwhelmed with tears.

While Janet was speaking Sam had managed to arrange herself into a seated position. “Oh honey, I’m sorry,” Sam said sadly. “If I thought this is what would have happened I wouldn’t have done anything. I’m so so sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you or put you through any of this.” Sam’s voice trailed off and she simply remained sitting staring at her clasped hands for answers to the questions that now floated around her head.

“Sam, honey, “ Janet said placing her hand under Sam’s chin forcing her to make eye contact. “None of this was your fault and don’t even think it was. It was an accident nothing more and nothing that you should be sorry for.”

Sam didn’t say anything just turned her head away from Janet’s caress. “I’m just sorry you thought I was dead. I know I wouldn’t be able to live if you were shot and I’d lost you forever,” Sam said as tears began to fall.

Janet sat on the edge of the bed and enveloped Sam in a hug. “Oh honey, you didn’t lose me and your not going too; just like I’m not going to lose you. I’m right here, by your side every step of the way.”

With visiting hours over Janet and Cassie returned home till the morning when they would return to visit with Sam. Sam for her part was anxious to get out of the hospital. She was only required to remain for a 24-hour observation period then she would be released into her physician’s care. As long as she took it easy and stayed put, seeing as how moving around caused her immense pain. The doctors agreed that Sam could be released under Janet’s medical care so long as she followed orders and took the pain pills when needed. While Cassandra sat with Sam, Janet had to fill out all the appropriate papers for Sam’s release.

Now they were all sitting in the car a few blocks away from being home. As they grew closer to their destination Sam grew more tense. Noticing this Janet reached over and grabbed Sam’s hand lightly squeezing it.

Once parked in the driveway everyone slowly exited the car. Cassandra headed to the door first opening it and cautiously waiting for her mothers.

Sam slowed as she entered the house, coming to a complete stop a few feet away from the blood stain on the floor. Her bloodstain to be exact. Sam’s pale complexion began to worry Janet and as Sam’s shoulders began to shake, Janet instinctively reached out and laid a comforting hand on Sam’s shoulder. Janet’s comforting gesture served to focus Sam’s mind back to the present, on which she turned and left leaving a puzzled Janet behind.

Sam had reached the sidewalk in front of the house by the time Janet caught up with her. Janet managed to stop Sam, forcing Sam to face her allowing Janet to see the unmasked horror and guilt written across her features.

“Sam honey, talk to me please! Tell me what is wrong,” Janet pleaded.

Sam just shook her head unable to find her voice through her constricted throat, all the while trying to side step Janet but not meeting much success.

“Sam please,” Janet asked her concern showing in her voice.

“Janet, that’s my blood on the floor. Don’t you get it?” Sam asked.

“I don’t understand. I don’t get what? Please explain it to me.”

“I did it again. I broke my promises and wound up hurting you as a result,” Sam said trying to rationalize her thoughts.

“Hurt me, Sam you didn’t hurt me. You’re the one that got hurt. And what promises are you talking about? You didn’t make a promise to me,” Janet stated.

“I made a promise to myself Janet,” Sam exasperates. “I promised myself that… that I wouldn’t hurt you or cause you pain.” Sam finished as her tears began to fall.

As they talked Janet gently moved them so they were sitting on the porch bench being as how Sam could not stand for any length of time and just to walk was an effort causing pain to etch its way across her face.

“Sam honey, look at me. You were protecting me… and Cassie for that matter. You didn’t cause me any pain,” Janet explained sincerely before Sam tried to interrupt her. “No let me finish. Yes, I’ll admit that I was hurting but not for the reason you think. I wasn’t hurting because of something done to me. I was hurting because you were. Sam when you’re hurt or in pain I feel it too,” Janet said stopping to let her words sink in, tears beginning to form in her eyes.

When Sam began to cry harder Janet knew her words had gotten through. She did the only thing that was left to do. She scooted closer to her love enveloping Sam in a tender embrace and whispering next to her ear words that conveyed all that she felt for her lover, “because I LOVE YOU.”

With her voice failing her Sam just tightened her arms around Janet, pulling the smaller woman and holder of her heart closer. After a few minutes Janet’s soft voice could be heard breaking the silence of the moment.

“As much as I’m enjoying this, why don’t we move this inside the house before the neighbours start talking or worse yet fantasizing,” Janet said lightly earning a smile and a small chuckle from Sam along with a confirming nod to moving their little emotion fest inside.

When they entered into the house they noticed a smiling Cassie walking to them and a throw rug covering the once visible bloodstain. Sam was now wincing a little with any movement she made, the pain becoming somewhat unbearable.

“Everything is going to be OK Sam. You’ll see,” Cassie said as she hugged Sam.

“Yes it will. It will as long as I have my family by my side,” Sam said as she extended her hand welcoming Janet to come closer and join in the hug.

“Always,” was the replied whisper near Sam’s ear from her lover and keeper of her heart. “No it’s off to bed with you. You have had a rough couple of day and still have plenty of recovery to make,” Janet said slipping into doctor mode. “Cass honey can you bring a glass of water and Sam’s pain pills while I get Sam to bed.”

“Sure thing mom,” Cassie said as she hurried off to the task at hand.

Things were going to be rough for a little while but everything was eventually going to be ok. They were all alive and still had each other and the love they felt. All would be right again.

 

The End


End file.
